I sit here, sitting in a swirl of emotions and confusion. I'm not sure what to think about life anymore or what is even on my mind. I can't seem to concentration on anything, and my homework is only frustrating me beyond belief.
Life is so full of unanswered questions, swirls of misunderstandings, and doubts about what is right and what is wrong. As I sit here entwined in all these feelings and doubts, I wonder once again who is right and who is wrong. I know what I believe, and I know why, but how do you make everyone else understand? I don't think anyone could ever understand my confusing, mixed up mind. Even I don't understand sometimes why I am the way I am.
I was watching home videos the other day, and I realized what a crazy child I was. I was odd then, and I guess it never changed. I loved dressing up in crazy outfits, dancing and singing when I was beyond awful, and telling stories to make friends. I guess some things haven't changed....
I feel like I'm losing myself in a midst of confusion and I'm fighting my way out of it...ain't it funny how we can pretend it's all okay, look great on the outside, and really just be as confused and messed up as everyone around us?
As we scream and cry out for attention, each us to consumed in our own worlds to really care about others, we turn to other ways. I realized today that a lot of people know they are doing things wrong or that aren't good for them, but if you shove it in their face, they only get mad and try to rebel. They tear down our signs, turn off the TV, or scream back. How can we confort the hurting without sounding like we hate you for who you are?
In a world where we tell each other that no one should tell you how to live your life, should we be? Is it better to watch you fall over and over again, or is it better to help you get up and help you fix your wounds? What is the line and have we already crossed it?
That wasn't even what was really on my mind...but what was on my mind is really just a jumble of questions that will never have an answer....
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