Friday, July 24, 2009

Some guys are just really confusing....

You know they like you (and they know you like them) but they say they want to take a break...and you can date other people. Take a break? You haven't even dated! And date other people? They like you so why do they want you to date other people? You know it would crush them if you why are they suggesting you do? Can't they just say the truth? 'I just want to take things slow. I know it's not the usual guy appraoch, but I would like to be a gentleman. I want to date you, but not at the moment. do you think you would be willing to wiat with me?" And that way, if the girl really doesn't want to wait, she can just say no. And look, the guy knows what is going to happen. Instead of him crying himself to sleep if she does go off and find a different guy, he'll know ahead of time. And if she does, she really didn't like him that much in the first place.

It seems so black and why is there gray?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Just Thoughts

This summer has been really interesting. I've been learning a lot about myself. But it's also been a constant struggle. And while I'd like to confide in people, I also don't know who to trust anymore. Just when I think I can trust someone, I hear news from someone else that they've been talking about me. I know I get talked about, it's just I never hear about it, so I never worry about it. But I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, and in some ways I still do, but I'm learning that it's hard to know who to trust. People have mouths, and they like to use them. And when they run out of ways to make their own life seem interesting, they start to gossip. And if your life seems more interesting, more fun, or they are just plain jealous, then they start to try to find ways to bring you down. Some people are unaware that they do this. I'm sure at some point I've done it as well. This whole summer has been a lot of negative outlooks shoved at me. I'm sick of hearing screaming, of negative thoughts, of just feeling so unhappy all the time. I feel like I'm barely able to breath a lot. It's getting harder and harder, and I'm just struggling so much. And I've pushed God away a lot this summer, and I'm trying to get back. I know I need Him and I can't do this without Him. But sometimes I think I'll try anyway, and that's when I fall...hard. I think I've been falling for a while, and I'd like to stop...and get up again.