So I haven't been on here in a LONG time...life got busy I guess. So let's see...what do I need to update on? Well, life has taken a big turn...and for the good! God is so great...He got me a job for the summer at Whitewater doing Marketing, and it's been really fun. I have a lot to learn, and sometimes I feel as though I'm not doing anything right...but it's an experience. I also got an internship at Brookdale Senior Living doing Communications (PR, graphic design stuff, photography,etc.). It's right up my alley! It's not paid, but most internships aren't and I knew that when I started looking. I know someone who paid over $3,000 to have a company find him an UNPAID INTERNSHIP. CRAZY. Ha ha.

Hmm...what else is new? Well, I got a new car. It's pretty sweet, I'm really excited. There are a few things that need touch-up, but what do you expect when you get something used?

I still work at the computer lab on Sundays...not too bad. Not a lot of people come in, so I often get paid to watch movies. Not a bad job!

My boss at the Registrar's Office loves doing cards and putting them up on the web to show her designs. I think I'm going to start doing that with all the random things that I create. So...hopefully I do that this weekend. I'm going to start a new blog just for that and I'll link it to this one so you guys can check it out!

I already have a blog for random things, like links and cool stories that I find. You guys should check it out: kristineisrandom.blogspot.com

Okay, well, I think my break is over. Just wanted to update you all! I promise I'll put something soon...we got wireless at my house (we had dial up before so that's why I never posted) and so now I should be on more!

Sometimes, a memory pops up right when you need it and a smile rushes to your face. Although life brings you pain, you can always see something beautiful in the daily routine of life: how the sun shines across your face when a cute boy walks by, a warm day with just the right breeze. Just as you feel stress, the perfect song bares through the speakers of your iPod. Look for the simple moments of life; you can be happy or cranky, but know that it is your choice.

The end of the school year is drawing to a close, and my thoughts are a jumbled mess. I'm not sure if I want summer to come. There are so many people graduating this year, and while I'm excited for them, it makes me sad. Next year is going to be so different. I have never been good at changes, but these are going to be huge changes. It reminds me just how uncertain life is, how crazy this road is. I had so many ideas of how next year would go, and none of them are what I thought. My plans for the summer are so different from my original plans.

It's so crazy how things can change in such a short time. One day, you are taking one path and the next, you find yourself back-tracking, trying to figure out where things changed. Sometimes we never figure out why things went wrong, or why they changed courses. And while I'm excited for this new path my life is heading on, I'm also sad.

I've been trying not to think so much lately, but sometimes, it just comes back. All the sadness. And while I know I'll get through it just fine, hey, I didn't want to come to college! And I didn't want to go to high school...it seems as though I've dreaded every transition I've made in life...but loved the result in the end. I wouldn't be who I am today without the changes I've made in my life.

And I've made some pretty big mistakes. I've let some people down. But I've never compromised who I am, and I'm proud of that fact. And while I lost some friendships, I think they needed to be cut lose. They were dragging me down, making me feel sorry and upset all the time. I ran into one of them today, and it made me look back on that time. All I did was complain about how horrible this person made me feel. Now that they are out of my life, I no longer feel so horrible, guilty, or stupid.

There are a few that I wish could be friends with me again. But they wanted me to change for them, and when I wouldn't do it, we had a falling out. I guess that's just the way these things go. I've forgiven them, and I hope one day they can forgive me.

Life can be pretty crazy, and it can change pretty quickly. But every change only makes us stronger, every struggle only shows us how blessed we really are. Don't forget who you are, don't change who you are to please another person. Life isn't about getting through, it's about creating yourself. Looks like I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

Best Friends Can Become Strangers

Have you ever thought you knew someone really well, only to be surprised several months later? Have you ever seen someone change before your eyes and you couldn’t even understand why? The personality change was sudden; the results drastic. Your normal way of acting suddenly changes as well because you are trying to adjust to their sudden change. Everything you do revolving around this person requires extra thought, time and work. You feel yourself getting confused and messed up, all by one person’s sudden change. You don’t understand why only this person can make you so messed up and you wish they could see the changes and the results themselves. And yet, they notice nothing. They are so lost in their own little world that you could blurt out the problem at the top of your lungs and they would probably never notice. So, you continue to suffer…wishing to solve this cycle on your own…but it seems impossible. After all, you don’t want to lose a valuable and treasured friendship.

I don’t regret
the friends I have made.
The choices they made
helped me see
Who I wanted to become
And who I didn’t want to be.

I don’t regret
proclaiming my beliefs
the people who didn’t like it
may one day see the truth
and the people who did
stayed my friends.

I don’t regret
the choices
I have made.
The right choices brought results
I have loved
And the wrong choices
Made me tougher.

I don’t regret
living in the present
Choosing to live
the days as they set
Instead of in the past
Will only make me
a happier person.

I don’t regret
Being friends
when I knew the friendship
couldn’t last.
Their friendship was great
while it lasted
And I am sure
They are happy
where they are.

I don’t regret
the anger
I once held
It helped me mend
the wounds
I had earned
over the years.

I don’t regret
the clubs
I didn’t join
the sports I couldn’t play,
the life I never lived.
I may have been sheltered,
But it helped me be me.

I don’t regret
this life I live
I love who I am
And what I do
And the people I touch.

Love is...

“Romantic love is one of those rare human endeavors that succeeds best when it requires the least effort. Those who pursue it the hardest are the most likely to fail.”

We all want to be loved. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t long for the touch of another, for someone to care about us so deeply that they would do anything to keep us happy. If you have already felt the love and grace of God, then you realize that we all already have it in our lives. But we also want the love of another individual, someone to whom we can one day marry.

So we search everywhere, looking for a love we cannot seem to grasp. We look and we find, but maybe that love isn’t the love we want. And so we continue on, breaking hearts and getting our own broken as well. Some never have the opportunity to get further than a broken heart from afar. They make the effect and get destroyed; sometimes the destroyer never even knows. After all, everybody plays the fool.

It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard when the other does not always feel the same way. There is no way to force a person to like you and sometimes the result is a ruined relationship. Sometimes we don’t even realize how we ruined it, it just happens. Just remember that while you may be crying now, next time around, someone will be crying over you.

It also helps to keep in perspective that you don’t fall into love, you grow into love. You must first start with a friendship that must be watered and nurtured. If you move too fast, you may break the relationship before it gets to where you want it to be. When you overwater a plant, it never grows, or it dies. The same is true with a relationship. The faster you water (or move) the faster it will slowly dwindle down to nothing.

“Genuine love is an expression of the deepest appreciation for another human being. It is an awareness of his or her needs, and character. It shares the longings, hopes, and dreams of that other person.”

You must first respect someone before you can love them. If you don’t have respect for someone that you are “dating” how can you expect to ever truly love them? The first place most relationships fail is when they don’t understand or respect each other. If you lose trust in your partner, you will have to work to gain back the trust and respect that relationship craves.

“If you hold love too loosely, then it files away; if you hold love too tightly, it’ll die. It’s one of the mysteries of life.”

Don’t cling to love once you find it, but let it grow. Watch it, but don’t choke it. Be careful with the ones you love because when you strangle them, they will never want to be around you again.

“We crave what we can’t attain, but we disrespect what we can’t escape.”