Troubling Thoughts

It makes me quite upset that I only seem to hear about more bad things than good. Just when you think everything is going to get a little better, there always has to be some bad to come and ruin it all. I got an even bigger insight to the world today, and I disliked it greatly.

I've been noticing more and more recently that the place in which I work seems to look at the small mistakes and upset with them, while overlooking the huge, problematic areas. As a result, I feel others are suffering and evil ones are gaining. And it sickens me.

To explain this point without talking about my current situation, can I use the police force as an analogy? The police force has always made me mad. I know that they have to do their job, but I often feel as though they let power go to their head. And it often scares me that police officers have power, strength, and weapons. They could kill me for any reason, and then try and come up with a good reason why it happened. To say I am scared of the police is an understatement. They are supposed to bring us peace, but they only freak me out. I could never marry a police officer. It wouldn't go over well, I would just be freaked out by him.

Anyway, so I already know that I am afraid and frightened of police. But then add in the fact that I have seen and heard many corrupt stories about the police. And faced some of these situations myself. So why do I think the police are corrupt? They spend their time searching for thieves, which I would understand if that wasn't the only thing they go after. However, they spend a lot more time looking for thieves who steal food than looking for murders. What is more important? Items or human lives?

And how about drunk drivers? How many more people can you kill if you get drunk and drive? The chances are a lot better than a poor thief who steals some food so he doesn't go hungry. I am not condoning stealing, merely pointing out that although stealing is bad, I sometimes think that other things are worse. They are still all sins, but I think some are higher than others. And I think that letting the big, evil sins go and only punishing the little sins, that we are only proving how corrupt and mislead this country really is.

To drive home my point, I'm going to leave you with one final thought. I'm going to give you three different examples of true stories that I have heard about.

Say for example that you are a student and you decide to go out and drink a lot of beer, and you are not 21. Then you get in your car, completely trashed, and drive 30 miles to your friend's house. Not only is that a long distance and the roads are terrible, but you can't see at all. You smash into a car, but don't kill anyone. The police come and one of them thinks you are really cute. You flirt with him and convince him that since you didn't kill anyone, he should let you off with a major fine. You feel very lucky, and completely do not learn anything from the experience. The next week, you once again go out drinking. This time you aren't caught and the behavior continues until one day you swerve off the road and kill a pregnant mother. When asked later by a reporter what could have saved you from this mistake, you hang your head and say that if the police had arrested you for the DUI instead of giving you a "pat on the wrist" you would have never driven again.

Say for example you are a homeless person. You don't have a lot of money due to bad investments and a boyfriend who stole all your money while you were at work and took off for Hollywood. You know you don't have enough food for the next week, and you have tried to beg for food. Most people assume you are a druggie, and don't give you the time of day. You have never used drugs in your life, you have never slept with someone for money, but you are starting to get desperate. You won't take drugs, and that wouldn't help your problem anyway. You secretly wonder about stealing the apple from the outside vendor. You know its not right, but you are so hungry and you don't know what else to do. The job market is terrible, and there are no jobs anyway. You quickly steal the apple and then run away. However, you are caught by the cops, arrested, and put in jail. In jail, you meet a guy who stole a TV in 1980 and has still not gotten out. He says that a guy who killed someone got released five years ago, but he has yet to be released. You are shocked, and scared. You only stole an apple. How long will you be in jail?

Say for example you are a homeowner. You go on vacation and while you are gone, someone breaks into your home. Well, attempts to, that is. They unsuccessfully fall down your back steps because of the ice, break their neck and then sue you. You come home to learn you are being sued because the thief claims that if you had cleared off your steps, he would have been able to break in and steal things, and not have broken his neck. You think it's crazy and fight the case in court instead of paying out of court for all his hospital bills. However, you ended up losing in court to the would-be thief.

All of these stories are true. I realize they don't completely go together, but it just shows that each situation is different, but we always tend to side with ourselves. Not always, but sometimes I think we do. In this new culture, it's all about us. How can we help ourselves. We don't think about the consequences or how they will affect others. Purely ourselves. And I'm not saying I don't do it. This is mostly seen in our government. And I'm saying that I've seen a bad dose of it this past week and I don't know what to do about it anymore. And that is why this rambling blog was created.

Worry less, Think more

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?" -Matthew 6:25

I no longer want to live a life consumed with worry. Worrying about even the simple things can start to destroy the simple happiness of just living each day to its fullest. Instead of worrying about what will happen in the future, and what others will think of me, I just want to enjoy the moment, and to stop planning ahead. What other people think of me is NONE of my business. They can think whatever they want of me, whether it's good or bad. Although I'm curious, if I spend precious moments worrying, I'll let happiness slip right by me.

When you think back on your life, do you think about all the times you worried, or do you think about all the happy times, the times when you were just yourself? I think that's why when I'm truly myself and I'm fully relaxed, I can sometimes sound like an idoit. But then I'm no longer thinking about how my words will sound. I'm much more at ease. I love when I can just do that. However, lately its been a problem. And so I'm going to have to watch just how much I "relax". Sad.

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." -Psalm 19:14